Dead Like Speed
by Marcus Reloaded
Summary: A story about Tim Speedle's life after life. SPOILER FOR "LOST SON"!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Dead Like Speed  
Author: marco  
Fandom: Dead Like Me/CSI:Miami (sort of)  
Pairing: Speed/?  
Summary: A story about Tim Speedle's life after life.  
Archive: Anywhere, but please ask first.  
Rating: R just in case.  
Parts: 1/?  
Spoilers: CSI:Miami: Lost Son.  
Status: Incomplete  
Series/Sequel: N/A  
Website: N/A  
Disclaimer: Don't own neither DLM nor CSI:Miami, though I can think Tim's up for  
grabs now.  
Authors notes & Warnings: Definite spoilers for the CSI:Miami episode "Lost  
Son". In fact, the entire story is based on it. This is not really a 'crossover'  
with DLM; only the idea (and, in a way, Rube) is used.

'What was going on?', Tim thought as he saw all those people looking and shaking  
their head sadly. I've been shot, somebody call the goddamned ambulance!

Then he noticed just what they were looking at.

His dead body.

Something was very wrong here.

"What the hell is goin'on?" Tim screamed to the thin air.

"It's useless." A voice behind him said in a Southern accent. "They can't hear  
ya."

"Why?" Tim asked, confused as all hell.

"You're a soul now, boy." The same, definitely male voice continued.

"If I'm a soul, why am I not already in Heaven, or Hell, or wherever souls  
should be?" was Tim's next question.

"Because, see, you're going to be a Reaper." He says.

"No, I'm not!" Tim says. "That's just a TV Show!"

"Huh?"

"Yeah! 'Dead Like Me'!" Tim continued. "You know, the one on Showtime."

"This is not a TV Show, Tim." The man said again. "You're really going to be a  
Reaper."

"So, I'm going to kill people, isn't this what you're saying?" Tim answered.  
"And HOW do you know my name, anyway?"

"Well, a lot of the souls - and of the Reapers - that passed by here in the last  
9 years were always proud that there was somebody able to speak for them. You."  
The man answered. "And no, you're not going to kill people. You'll just help  
them in a different way from before. You see, everybody has a, how can I put it,  
um,. date of expiration on him or herself."

"Oh, great." Tim commented. "is this info available or not? Because if it isn't,  
we'll have to complain to the service."

"It isn't available, smartass." The man continued. "Anyway, when their time  
comes, you're going to have to help them out of their bodies. It's not all that  
difficult; I give you a post-it with the name, place and ETD."

"ETD?"

"Estimated Time of Death. You have to go there and wait until it's going to  
happen, then, a minute or less before it happens, you touch the victim, and the  
soul comes out, avoiding physical and psychological pain to them."

"Hm. Think I'm getting the hang on this." Speed answered. "So, what now?"

"Now, you begin your job." The man answered. "I know you have gone undercover a  
few times. Think of this that way."

"OK. So, I will assume a new identity. Like the TV Show." Tim said.

"Enough with the TV Show." Said the man.

"Now that I have accepted everything you had to tell me, could you tell me your  
name?"

"Oh, yeah. It's Rube."

"WHAT?"

Tim suddenly noticed that the man had appeared in front of him. and looked  
exactly like Mandy Patinkin.

Oh my, he thought, what am I into?

CUE TO CREDITS

They are like the normal DLM ones, except that at the end there isn't Ellen Muth  
under the cloak, but Rory Cochrane.

END CREDITS

TBC?

I continue? I don't? You tell!


	2. Of Old Endings And New Beginnings

Dead Like SpeeD

Part 2

For disclaimers and all that jazz, refer to part 1.

Tim looked around him. "Where am I?" he asked. Well, he didn't have to ask: he noticed immediately he was in a funeral home… and, as he noticed when a mourner passed through him, still incorporeal.

The reason was simple; the funeral was his.

There was everybody he had had a polite interaction with; his colleagues - glad to see H hadn't forgotten the stick up his butt at home -, his family - whose reaction broke his non-beating heart ,  
and some friends and ex-girlfriends.

"Hello, boy."

As soon as he heard that voice, he rolled his eyes.

"So, why am I here, if I can't be seen or heard by anyone?"

"To leave your old life behind, Timmy boy."

Speed frowned at the 'Timmy boy' bit.

"And be happy you didn't see your own autopsy."

"At least I wasn't hit by a toilet seat from an old space station,  
like George Lass."

"I don't know him."

"Her. She's the main character of 'Dead Like Me'."

"Oh, my, here we go again."

Then, he heard a loud sob from the person next to him.

He turned around.

It was a woman, a young one, blonde, who was openly crying. She looked like a very tall, very lanky Calleigh Duquesne.

"Tim, meet Daria Jenkins. I think you worked her case, some time ago. Ran over by…" Rube trailed off.

"A reindeer?" Tim joked.

Daria laughed good-heartedly - a fact which made a lot of heads turn towards her - and then told Speed "No, a bus."

Another person arrived to join the group.

"This is Bob. A transfer from Vegas. Poisoned by his wife and secretary… for a long time. So, you understand, he became a little… misogynous."

"Can't blame him." Daria and Speed said at the same time.

"You must be the new guy." Bob said, trying (obviously)  
unsuccessfully to shake Speed's hand.

"Sorry, no substance yet." Speed joked.

"I heard a lot of people talking about you." Bob continued.

"Oh really?" Speed answered.

"Yeah, both here and in Vegas." Bob said in a low tone, while putting on a pair of sunglasses.

"We're in a church," Daria asked, "what dire need do you have for those sunglasses?"

"People seem to respect a man when he has sunglasses on."

"Why," Speed asked, "doesn't he also when he hasn't them?"

"Please, don't dive further into the question, or else you'll hear his opinion about women," Rube advised, "and boy, will you hear it!"

Speed did as asked.

Then heard somebody.

Swearing.

"What the FUCK is goin'on here?"

"Don't worry, that's just Marissa. Cute, if you like anorexic, drug-  
addict teenage prostitutes, but who can swear worse than a man." Bob answered Speed's eyes' mute question.

"Shut up, you pissy little cocksucking bitch!"

"and that, my man, was the solid evidence of it."

"And, you know the urban legend about the killer in the backseats of cars?" Rube said.

"Yup. My fave." Speed answered.

"She was the original victim." This answer left Speed speechless.

After the function, Speed, Rube, Daria, Bob and Marissa walked out of the church and in the sunny streets of Miami.

"So, I think you need to know that being a Reaper doesn't earn you any meal."

"Think I know." Speed answered his new mentor.

"How… wait, don't tell." Rube 'asked'. "The TV Show again, isn't it?"

Speed could only nod.

"By the way, I had already a job in mind…" Speed then said.

TBC


End file.
